Relationships and Happiness.
Stuff to ponder
Relationships affect our happiness. While challenging relationships may seem to complicate our ability to be happy, healthy relationships can actually boost our happiness. More and more research confirms the positive effects of close relationships and social interaction.
Get yourself connected
Connecting with others is key for happy people. However, you needn’t be an extrovert or have a thousand Facebook friends. Having a partner or close friend with whom you can share will increase your feelings of being needed and loved, leading to your greater feeling of happiness. (According to researchers, it can also add years to your life.)
Researchers in the UK have found that not only do relationships make us happier, happy people tend to have more and better quality relationships. This may explain why Ernie (of Sesame Street fame) is so happy.
Be the “You”
If you’re struggling to attract the right people to your life, perhaps you have the “emphasis on the wrong syllable.” One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard is this: Be the “you” you wish to attract. Whether you’re looking for a love interest or a dear friend, become the person that you would fall in love/like with.
If you want someone well-read with whom you can discuss the literati, expand your reading list, start a book club or join an on line discussion forum.
Do you dream of sharing your life with someone kind, compassionate and a good cook? Develop these skills within yourself.
You get the picture. Make yourself into the kind of person that you would want to be with. Don’t expect someone else to fill your cup. Hold the pitcher and pour your own beverage.
Have “Mighty Companions”
In The Course in Miracles it says, “He goes with Mighty Companions beside him.” I love this! To me, mighty companions are those people who walk with you through life. They are the people who are there for you, offer you love and support, show up when you need help, make you laugh when you’re down.
Who are your Mighty Companions?
Get outside yourself
When we’re feeling less than happy, it’s often because our focus has narrowed and we’re absorbed in our own life. One of the best ways to expand yourself (and your happiness) is to get outside of yourself. When our focus is more other-centric, we are less likely to ruminate on our own challenges and we become less self-absorbed.
AS Ghandi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” It may also lead you to more happiness.
Your personal power
Are you living from your personal power? I define personal power as living from your authentic self. This means you use your own voice, you’re in touch with your personal energy system and you navigate from your core values. When we haven’t integrated these, or we compromise on any or all, we come to our relationships from a less than powerful place.
Personal power isn’t power over. Quite the contrary. When people are acting from their authentic self they are kind, compassionate, creative, of service — and joyful.
- What traits or skills would you like to develop to be your “You”? Using the worksheet in the resources below, make a list, research the steps to achieve each, create a timetable, and GO!
- Make a list of those who have been Mighty Companions in your life. Write them a thank you note, email or snail mail, and share with them why they hold a special place in your heart. (See the Resources below for a done-for-you template)
Be the “You” Worksheet (pdf)
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